Safety FAQs From Middle School Students

Sonayia Shepherd gives students practical advice on bullies, threats, friends who are depressed, weapons, domestic situations, and gang intimidation.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Sonayia Shepherd
School Safety Analyst
Safe Havens International

Should I confront a bully?

You should never confront a bully. Simply because you never know if that bully has a weapon. You never know if that bully wants to inflict harm on you. You should always report it. Tell an adult that you're being bullied. Tell your parents that you're being bullied. Tell an administrator. Try not to be confrontational. Again, you never know if someone's carrying a weapon.

How can I report a classmate anonymously?

You can report it verbally with a teacher, one on one. Most schools also have mechanisms by which you can report, either hotlines or email. You can also send a tip, you can write it on a note and put it on a teacher's desk. There are a lot of ways that you can report, whatever is available to you and your school. The key here is to make sure that you do report.

What should I do if my classmate threatens me?

If your classmate threatens you, then you definitely need to tell someone. Tell a teacher, or tell a Principal, and let them know exactly what your classmate did or said. Make sure that when you report the threat that you're accurate and you're truthful in reporting it, and make sure that you do it immediately.

What should I do if I hear a student plans to harm other students or teachers?

You should act in the same way as if someone threatened you. That should be reported immediately in whatever mechanisms that your school has for you to report. Most schools have law enforcement on campus. That's the first person that I would go to. Report it to law enforcement because the threat of a weapon, either you hear about it or someone threatens you personally, is a very serious incident.

How can I tell if a classmate is joking or serious when talking about violence?

If a classmate is talking about violence, even a joke should be treated as a serious threat. Joking about violence is very inappropriate and you never know if a person is serious and if you have any doubts, report it.

Will reporting threats make me unpopular?

Reporting threats does not make anyone unpopular. It makes them safe. Many reporting mechanisms are anonymous and confidential. Don't feel like my popularity is going down if I report a threat. Feel like I'm making myself and my friends safer.

What should I do if my friend at school is depressed?

If your friend is depressed, talk to them. Find out how they're feeling. Peer support is very important. Taking care of each other is a great way to build your relationship and to build your friendship, but to also help your friend. And if it's safe to do so and they're not suicidal or anything like that, then yeah, discuss how they're feeling and talk to them about your thoughts about that. If it's something that you feel uncomfortable about or maybe the conversation escalates to talks of suicide, then report that to an adult. If they're talking about suicide or sadness or giving away their possessions or they're saying that they're sleepy all the time, then you should talk to an adult. Talk to either their parents or voice your concerns with their teacher or voice your concerns with the school administrator. But talk to them about it and talk to them about possibly going to seek help themselves.

How can I tell if a classmate is dangerous?

There are some signs and symptoms of dangerous people. For example, if someone threatens you and says, "I want to harm you" or " I want to kill you." If they articulate that they want to commit an act of violence towards you. That's one sure way to know if someone is dangerous. If they're talking to you and they say they want to harm someone else, a teacher, or a principal, or another student, that's another way to know that a child is dangerous. If they're engaging in gang behaviour. If they say, "I'm a part of a gang" and they want to commit some type of act of violence, that's a good way to know that you have a dangerous person on your hands.

What should I do if hear a student has a weapon?

You should report that to a teacher. Never confront a student who has a weapon. If you hear that a student has a weapon, that should be reported. Find a law enforcement officer in the schoo. Find a trusted adult, someone that you trust to go to. That could be a coach, it could be your favorite teacher, it could be your school counselor, but you should definitely report that.

What should I do if my ex won't leave me alone?

If you feel that you're in any type of domestic violence situation, you should get law enforcement involved - either the school law enforcement or community law enforcement. You should tell your parents or tell a teacher. Tell someone, because you don't want it to escalate into a situation where your safety is threatened.

What should I do if a clique is picking on me?

If you feel like a group of people or a person is picking on you or bullying you, then you should tell a parent. Tell a trusted adult in the school. A lot of times, schools have school resource officers which are campus security or campus law enforcement, and they should be notified immediately. Because nine times out of ten, that person or that clique is not just picking on you, they're picking on others. And you want to make sure that you're reporting that.

How do cliques and gangs use intimidation?

When you have cliques, it's usually a group of people. What we commonly see, and what the research shows is that cliques, unlike gangs, bully by alienation. It's usually the popular people in a school that won't allow a person into their circle. What you find in gangs is someone that's leading the gang, and the gang committing an act of violence as a group. That's usually the difference between a clique and a gang - both are very dangerous if they go too far.